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Beauty and Wisdom

5/31/2020

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Listening to wisdom in the lyrics of a beautiful song.  What could be easier?  Beauty allows us to absorb wisdom deep into our bones.  Sometimes it is through music, sometimes poetry, a painting, a person we love, or nature itself.   In all of these cases the carrier is something or someone we love, we trust, and therefore, see their beauty. 

Wisdom needs the sugar of beauty to penetrate because it can be a bitter pill.  It tells us not to get too attached to who we believe we are, because life might tell us otherwise.  It urges us to change our perspective when we just want things to be different, and it tells us to change things when we wish we could just change our perspective.

Wisdom pushes us to look into all of our uncomfortable places we just don’t want to look at, all of those places where we are a part of the problem and we are so convinced everyone else is except us.  

No wonder we need beauty, otherwise, we could fall prey to a very unwise life.

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“Let me be an instrument of your Peace”St. Francis

5/24/2020

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We are like instruments.  I always read “instrument” in the St. Francis prayer as a musical instruments.  All musical instruments are hollow..  For the sound of an instrument to ring pure, it needs a hollow center, that allows the materials of the instrument to vibrate and resonate with the sound vibrations sent by string, breath, or percussion.

In the same way, we need an empty space at our own center to ring true to our unique sound, for our being to resonate with the breath of existence.  When empty we are free to give ourselves to the sound so that it reaches other’s ears.  We cannot vibrate with peace, or joy, if we are carrying around all sorts of things inside of us.  We will give a muffled sound or distorted at best, if we can produce a sound at all.

The question is how do we empty out?  We are so full thoughts, memories, beliefs, judgements and so on, occupying the space in us that is meant to be hollow.

I know I am not hollow because my body tells me.  It feels solid, constrained, and heavy with emotions.  When I am aware I am not hollow, I reach inside to take out whatever is there.  I reach a hand inside and feel and touch the things in the darkness, so that I hold them and recognize them.  There is not really another way, we need to hold something in order to release it.

The more we have the experience of hollowness the more we begin to recognize and truly appreciate who we are, how we sound, the beautiful instrument we are.


The more hollow we are, the more we can listen to sound of life, expressed through others and the world around us and understand how all of us fit in this greater harmony.



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Joy as Infinite Possibility

5/17/2020

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Sitting in my living room, with the eternal buzz of the computer in the background, I think about the definition of the word “joy”.  No dictionary can give me what I am looking for.  I am searching not for meaning but for description.  Not for description of what causes joy, but for description of feeling itself.


Joy is a smile I say.  But not the external smile, the child’s smile, the mother’s smile, the kind stranger’s smile.  It is not your smile, it is an internal, smile of the heart.  It is a lightness, a song, a bursting, a dance.  Not a song you sing, or a dance you dance, but song you wish to sing, a dance you want to dance.  It is the bubbling bursting sense of the infinite, where there is infinite possibility.


What else could joy possibly be?  Nothing could possibly give us joy outside of us, all that outside of us can do is help us connect to sense of possibility.  Joy becomes sacred when we look deep into that well that holds the eternal waters.  This where joy becomes divine, this when joy cannot be taken away, because it exists in that place, close to the fountain itself.


Every other joy can be taken, the lover might leave, the job might dissolve, the newborn might not live. Unless our joy springs from pure infinite possibility, it cannot be lasting, because nothing really is.


So, have I had this experience.  Nothing is simple, and I think I have, and you have, but it is often not pure.  It is a mixture of our sensing the possibilities we consider wonderful, and a connection to the infinite, where it is always undescribable, eternally wonderful.  But we allow the small doomed joys to close our eyes when they pass, thinking that is all we had.

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A New Song

11/4/2018

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When the world seems to fall apart, we are often left without knowing what is next, in a state of unpredictability and fear.

In those times of deep distress, it is natural to try to find our song again.  But it is not possible to do so, because what we thought as our song was created out of a particular circumstance, with certain harmonies that came together because of that unique situation. 

Whatever our song is, it will, as everything else, inevitably end.  We might experience an end of a relationship, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or role we played.  It might be that we cannot sing that song anymore because we find the environment is different and the audience we thought we knew is gone.

In those moments it is easy to imagine that the music is ending.  Because we became so accustomed to that particular song.  So much so, we began to think of that song as who we are, and all we could possibly be. 

Once the musicians put away their instruments and the audience leaves, however, there remains a silence pregnant with new rhythms, new melodies, new creations to emerge.  You never know who will accompany you because the new song has not started yet.

The question is, can you be in that moment of not knowing, and listen in the silence for new possibilities?  Can you be in the silence by bringing honor and closure to the old song or will you keep chasing for what was or what could have been? ​
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True Self-Control

7/9/2013

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Today the light is clear outside and the birds are loud, as they are every morning. My meditation is simple and focused, and I am grateful for it. I am aware of myself and my particular past, however I don't find the need to dwell on the future, I am just not interested. I am reminded of a conversation I had earlier with my wife regarding a quote from the Bible, a letter from Paul to the Galatians. The letter is well known and it contains the "fruits of the Holy Spirit" referring to one of them as being self control. I am not a Christian scholar, but my understanding of self control as a "fruit" of the Holy Spirit resonated in me.

When I used to study classical guitar I spent many fruitless hours "making myself study" and having little or no results to show my teacher. I only tasted true discipline when I realized that the discipline did not involve me forcing myself to play, but it was the discipline of turning inside, of finding my emotions and my expression in the sound of the guitar. Once I was deeply connected to my own expression, I had no need to "make" myself study, but rather my practice became the fruit of my self connection. Similary, in relationships, if I react with anger I find that my discipline consists in turning inside, becoming aware of my feelings and contemplating my needs, and the perspective of the other person.   The fruit of this effort is self control. I find no need to act out or to have the last word once I connect to my own self. In my classes I often tell my students to take some space if they need to and leave the situation. However, I encourage them to then take that opportunity to connect with themselves, otherwise, once they are back in the situation nothing has changed, and they will find themselves trying to control themselves and not enjoying the fruit of their connection. No one will enjoy their music then, as they won't be expressing their authentic selves.

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    Armando 

    Armando is a workshop leader and songwriter.  He lives in Santa Cruz, California.

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