Today I will tell you a story. It is a simple story. It is the story of a child who really wanted a particular toy for Christmass and would speak to their parents many times about how much they would appreciate and how happy they would be if Santa would bring that toy to them in Christmas. And it was a child of an age that part of them understood that it was the parents who bought the toys and part of them wanted to keep the belief of Santa Claus coming and bringing the presents.
So the parents were concerned because it was an expensive toy. After reviewing their budget and their resources they decided they could get that very toy but while normally they might bring 4 or 5 presents, they instead limited the presents to the one the child said they really wanted. But when Christmass arrived and they brought to the child the gift, the child was very unhappy because first he was expecting more presents, and second the present they brought did not bring them as much joy as they had imagined.
This is a cautionary tale. On one level the parents wanted to please their child. However they had a choice. A part of them knew their child was at an age where these beliefs were no longer sustainable and part of them wanted to keep the magic of the belief going, and wanted to believe their child was still innocent. and would not talk to their child about their options.
As the parents did in this story, we at times choose to listen to the part of ourselves that wants to believe as opposed to what reality is. And when we do this we will always disappoint ourselves and others because we cannot fool ourselves and we cannot fool others. Deep down we know what is true.
And as for the child, part knew the parents bought the presents and part wanted to believe it was Santa Claus and there would be no limit to the presents. The child chose the same as the parents As a result, everyone had a rude awakening. They got awakened to limitations, to expectations unmet, they got awakened to the difficulty of accepting that what we want is not always what we get and not always at the right time.
I am telling you this story because it has this theme of choosing to believe in something that we know deep down is not true. I am not talking about believing in a dream, I am not talking about believing in potential. I am talking about believing in something that is not factually true and that we know so, yet we choose sometimes to live on in the mythology, not because we are embracing the present and yet choosing to create a new reality, but rather we create a new reality in order to avoid the present. This is a big difference because the only place we can be grounded is in the present, in what is happening around us. And if we are not grounded then there is nothing to stand on and will find ourselves falling.
The difference between the two is the difference between living in denial and living in hope.
Why is it then we choose denial? Denial of the present of what we know is true? We choose that because we are afraid that reality will not hold a place for us, we are afraid that surrendering to what is means giving up on dreams, giving up on meaning, giving up maybe on belonging.
If you pay attention, what this really means is that if you are caught between acknowledging and not acknowledging what is true it is because you are believing yet another story. I will not call it a dream but I will call it maybe a nightmare. Because you have a belief or a story that is hiding and is telling you that if you accept what is, if you accept reality, it would mean capitulating, it would mean losing yourself. And this is a hidden story and as all stories this is an untrue story. Reality, when deeply acknowledging it, is the fertile ground where you can plant the seeds of the dream. It might not be the dream you were first envisioning, nevertheless it will be the dream that captures your soul, that moves you, it will be the dream that offers you deliverance, that brings you peace, it will be the dream that you are meant to have.
What is preventing you from embracing reality is this phantom nightmare, this phantom story. So if you find yourself in that situation, if you notice that a truth is making you uncomfortable and you are trying to look the other way I am not going to tell you to embrace the truth because there is not enough courage to do that, instead I am going to tell you to look for that hidden story, that hidden nightmare that is telling you that the truth that you know is so terrible, that is the story that you need to illuminate. That story is the one you can confront and once you confront it, the world is yours.
So the parents were concerned because it was an expensive toy. After reviewing their budget and their resources they decided they could get that very toy but while normally they might bring 4 or 5 presents, they instead limited the presents to the one the child said they really wanted. But when Christmass arrived and they brought to the child the gift, the child was very unhappy because first he was expecting more presents, and second the present they brought did not bring them as much joy as they had imagined.
This is a cautionary tale. On one level the parents wanted to please their child. However they had a choice. A part of them knew their child was at an age where these beliefs were no longer sustainable and part of them wanted to keep the magic of the belief going, and wanted to believe their child was still innocent. and would not talk to their child about their options.
As the parents did in this story, we at times choose to listen to the part of ourselves that wants to believe as opposed to what reality is. And when we do this we will always disappoint ourselves and others because we cannot fool ourselves and we cannot fool others. Deep down we know what is true.
And as for the child, part knew the parents bought the presents and part wanted to believe it was Santa Claus and there would be no limit to the presents. The child chose the same as the parents As a result, everyone had a rude awakening. They got awakened to limitations, to expectations unmet, they got awakened to the difficulty of accepting that what we want is not always what we get and not always at the right time.
I am telling you this story because it has this theme of choosing to believe in something that we know deep down is not true. I am not talking about believing in a dream, I am not talking about believing in potential. I am talking about believing in something that is not factually true and that we know so, yet we choose sometimes to live on in the mythology, not because we are embracing the present and yet choosing to create a new reality, but rather we create a new reality in order to avoid the present. This is a big difference because the only place we can be grounded is in the present, in what is happening around us. And if we are not grounded then there is nothing to stand on and will find ourselves falling.
The difference between the two is the difference between living in denial and living in hope.
Why is it then we choose denial? Denial of the present of what we know is true? We choose that because we are afraid that reality will not hold a place for us, we are afraid that surrendering to what is means giving up on dreams, giving up on meaning, giving up maybe on belonging.
If you pay attention, what this really means is that if you are caught between acknowledging and not acknowledging what is true it is because you are believing yet another story. I will not call it a dream but I will call it maybe a nightmare. Because you have a belief or a story that is hiding and is telling you that if you accept what is, if you accept reality, it would mean capitulating, it would mean losing yourself. And this is a hidden story and as all stories this is an untrue story. Reality, when deeply acknowledging it, is the fertile ground where you can plant the seeds of the dream. It might not be the dream you were first envisioning, nevertheless it will be the dream that captures your soul, that moves you, it will be the dream that offers you deliverance, that brings you peace, it will be the dream that you are meant to have.
What is preventing you from embracing reality is this phantom nightmare, this phantom story. So if you find yourself in that situation, if you notice that a truth is making you uncomfortable and you are trying to look the other way I am not going to tell you to embrace the truth because there is not enough courage to do that, instead I am going to tell you to look for that hidden story, that hidden nightmare that is telling you that the truth that you know is so terrible, that is the story that you need to illuminate. That story is the one you can confront and once you confront it, the world is yours.
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